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Fighting is Easy. Persuading is Harder.
While a fist-pounding speech against tyranny and injustice is as American as the Liberty Bell, so is the Franklin example of influence and coalition building.
We need another Hamilton. I’m looking for an older, pudgier hip-hop musical, with wisdom and prudence flying at you fast. Picture the iconic tunes: “There’s a half dozen things I haven’t done, just you wait,” and “I’m not throwing out my back.” The senior stars of this fresh take: colonial contemporaries James Otis and Benjamin Franklin.
Why this new Broadway production? Their diverging approaches to discourse, as described in their biographies, hold the key to preserving our Republic.
John Clark Ridpath wrote that James Otis was an “excitable and passionate” Massachusetts lawyer in the mid-1700s whose temper often undermined his arguments in court. It was said that his “manner towards his opponents was at times hard to bear” and that his “zeal and energy were at times unrestrained.” His friend, the story goes, would tug on his coat to calm him down. This tactic worked until Otis lashed out at his friend, “Do you take me for a schoolboy?”
Benjamin Franklin described in his autobiography a similar friend who gave him some free advice: while Franklin was often correct, he was “overbearing and rather insolent.” As a result, Franklin changed tactics and drafted a set of rules for himself to force some new habits. He abandoned phrases that amounted to “I’m right” and “you’re wrong.” He adopted softer language, saying (paraphrasing), “This is how it looks to me at the moment,” or “In some cases, I think you would be correct, but in this case, it looks different to me.”
He went on: “When another asserted something that I thought an error, I denied myself the pleasure of contradicting him abruptly and of showing immediately some absurdity in his proposition…” Instead, he would begin by “observing that in certain cases or circumstances, his opinion would be right, but in the present case, there appeared or seemed to me some difference.”
Franklin soon began to notice that the “modest way in which [he] proposed [his] opinions” started to get substantial results. Not only was he less “mortified” when he turned out to be wrong, but he “more easily prevailed with others to give up their mistakes and join with [him].”
James Otis continued his trademark volatile temperament and became embroiled in a controversy with some local commissioners of customs. A brawl ensued at a coffeehouse, leaving Otis with a deep wound on his head. He was never the same. He was watching a spring storm from his doorway when he was killed by Benjamin Franklin’s signature symbol—a bolt of lightning.
As with Hamilton and Burr, this is not a story with a clear hero and a villain. James Otis sacrificed much for his country and helped provide the early sparks that kindled the Revolution. But the Otis style is overused today. Online and in person, with family and strangers, too many of us rush past opportunities to persuade. Instead, we slam, ridicule, and shame those on the other side out of desperation or contempt.
I get it; sometimes it feels like things are desperate and that time has run out for being nice to the other side. But Otis and Franklin lived in times just as perilous and uncertain as ours. And it’s not about being nice or compromising our values. It’s about being more effective—looking for common ground where it exists, and trying to bring people to your side. Would we have a country without this?
Franklin gave much of the credit for his astonishing accomplishments to his new habit, writing, “I think it principally owing that I had early so much weight with my fellow citizens when I proposed new institutions or alterations in the old and so much influence in public councils.” In addition to starting the first American public library, fire department, and the Postal Service, he was instrumental in forming the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and the very treaty that ended the Revolutionary War.
While a fist-pounding speech against tyranny and injustice is as American as the Liberty Bell, so is the Franklin example of influence and coalition building. It’s not that there is never a time to rise up with passion, but we would be wise to look to our hundred-dollar founding father most of the time.
Benjamin Franklin wasn’t superhuman—he had to force this humble way of arguing as it didn’t come naturally at first. It doesn’t for me, either. But I’ve found that it’s worth it. Since trying this in earnest, I have felt less stressed about politics, burned fewer bridges, and have more friends, all while making more progress than ever to advance the policies and principles that I think are the best for my country.
Even if the other side seems hateful or ideologically captured, and you see no hope of getting through to them, try taking them aside (or even out to lunch). Learn what logic or experiences brought them to their conclusion. Don’t position yourself as their enemy. Acknowledge their good intentions. Highlight some things you already agree on, then point out the nuance in your perspective.
In short, make it easy for them to change their mind and join you.
Whether talking after yoga class, sitting by our uncle at the campfire, or meeting with our senator, we must pause before the satisfying mic drop and be more strategic about our approach—not only addressing our side, but all sides. In this divisive election year, there is simply too much at stake.
A patriot will do difficult things for their country. Fighting is easy. Persuading is harder.
Is the story of these two Boomers of the Revolution compelling enough for another colonial rap musical? If it helps America, it’s worth a shot. And this time, let’s try the Franklin way.
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Great article for these especially conflicted times! My husband was raised in a Mennonite religious community where persuasion is very common, and he has always used the persuasive tactic with sometimes miraculous results. And even if the other person doesn’t come around, they always part as friends. This does not come easily for me personally, but over the decades, I have gotten a little better and I’m now able to avoid bar fights. 😉
You nailed it when you said, "Learn what logic or experiences brought them to their conclusion. Don’t position yourself as their enemy. Acknowledge their good intentions. Highlight some things you already agree on, then point out the nuance in your perspective. In short, make it easy for them to change their mind and join you."