Don’t Judge a Book by its Author

How a local bookstore canceled my book launch because I’m not trans

I had just lost my job, and my mother’s cancer came back. When things like that happen, you take a look at your life through a completely different lens. Throughout my life I’ve always had high ambitions for large projects that transcend myself and pushed to get them done. I have faced failure many times. I assessed my situation and knew that in order for me to finish this book and tell an elaborate story, I needed to take the time and do nothing else. So, for the next twenty-three days, I focused solely on writing my book. On average, I wrote 3,300 words per day in a highly minimalist style. Without distractions, I was able to immerse myself in my craft—so much so that nothing else mattered. As someone with ADHD, things like this often seem impossible, but I developed a technique to use my propensity to hyper-fixate and use it to power through writing the book. When it was finally done, I didn’t have much time to celebrate because it was time to release.

When the book came out it made decent sales and sparked some genuine intrigue in my work. The book is about a high school senior who fakes transitioning into a woman to help him get into college. There was some love and some hate sent my way, and getting an opportunity to speak was  what I needed. I knew I had to start scaling up—small events at my local church weren’t going to give my work the reach it needed. 

So I contacted a local bookstore in Columbia, Maryland, called Busboys and Poets, about hosting an author event for my book, Pinkface. Everything was confirmed, and the contract was signed to have the book sold in their stores. But then they asked for my headshot. As soon as they saw my face, they immediately canceled my book event, initially stating in an email that my book "didn't align with their values." I replied and asked what values specifically they were talking about, and then they changed their answer to "the manner in which themes of racial justice and queer rights are conveyed within your book doesn't align with our views." I followed up again, asking for specifics, and they said, "that's all we're able to tell you."

Disappointed and disheartened, I took a step back and looked at the situation from every possible angle. The only thing that changed between the event being scheduled and it getting canceled was that I sent them my headshot. So, I asked upfront if the reason for the cancellation was due to my race. Full disclosure: I am a biracial (half black, half white) cis-gendered American. They then followed up by stating in bold letters, “We are not accepting your book for a multitude of reasons, the primary one being: it is a book written about a marginalized experience that the author does not identify with.” Essentially stating that because I’m not trans and my book deals with trans-related topics and a trans character, they canceled my event and broke our contract. Not only that, but after they were done lecturing me about what perspectives are okay for me to write from—they laid the assaults and murder of trans people across the country at my feet. They researched my book, signed a contract to have it sold in their stores, and were excited to have me speak there. All of that changed when they assumed I am cisgender because of my headshot.

Email from Busboys and Poets

It’s funny that all of this culminates right before Pride Month. I’m not gay (though we can all admit Ryan Reynolds is handsome), and I’m not trans. For years, I’ve celebrated Pride Month with friends who are in the community without a second thought. I cheered when marriage equality was legalized across the country. I’ve had friends come out to me as trans. This is the first time in my life I feel any lack of comfort being at any events with the LGBT community. My values haven’t changed, but I’m worried about what people who are only familiar with one side of the story surrounding my book might think of me. A movement that was initially about inclusivity has become ominously exclusionary toward certain groups—and disagreement with the orthodoxy of the day can get you into trouble. 

As I have spoken openly about my experience online, Busboys and Poets have continued to claim that they canceled my book event because it "doesn't align with their values," completely glossing over the fact that they put in writing—in bold—that the decision was made because of my identity characteristics. Busboys and Poets have a carefully curated public image centered around "social justice, peace, love, and inclusivity,” and they are hell-bent on maintaining it. When I told the truth to anyone who would listen, I was called a bigot, a racist, and a transphobe. I have had my personal number leaked, my parents have been harassed for defending me, and my live streams have all been reported for hate speech. I have been ousted from my community because of Busboys and Poets’ decision to cancel my event and malign my intent and character as an author. Every book festival in Columbia is run through Busboys and Poets, so I have no hope of further promoting my work.

It is ironic how accurately my book depicts the exact situation I now find myself in. Much of the struggles I am going through are directly parallel to Pinkface. Busboys and Poets' decision to illegally break our contract and cancel my book event because the characters in the book don’t precisely align with my identity is emblematic of the publishing landscape authors are now being forced to navigate. Busboys and Poets is a reference to Langston Hughes, and almost all the artists depicted on the bookstore’s walls are prominent black artists. Meanwhile, the owner is Middle Eastern. But that doesn’t matter to me. Why can’t they apply the same principles to people of different genders?

Busboys and Poets came to Columbia in 2021 to the Merriweather District, an up-and-coming wealthy area in what used to be the woods behind Merriweather Post Pavilion. I have lived in Columbia my entire life and am the third generation to do so. My grandparents moved to Columbia because James Rouse was creating a city based on the philosophy of racial integration and economic opportunities that cities rooted in a racist history hadn’t provided. James Rouse was a member of my church, and his widow donated to my college fund. My mother is black, and my father is white. If you want a representation of the philosophy espoused in the founding of Columbia, you’re looking at him. 

     I have decided to take Busboys and Poets to court for a simple reason: it’s the right thing to do. What they did was not only wrong, but illegal. Early on in his life, my grandfather was denied housing and membership to a golf club because he was black. He didn’t just find another club or house. He sued them. My grandfather fought for racial equality and integration—not to replace one horrible system with the same discrimination, just in a different flavor. The principles of equality and nondiscrimination were the driving forces behind the Civil Rights movement in the sixties and Obergefell v. Hodges in 2015. If you would be upset and boycott a store for canceling an event because an author was transgender, but you wouldn’t do the same if the author were cisgender, I’d posit you don’t believe in gender equality. Identity politics and discrimination have no place in publishing and literature. Some of the best books ever written were authored by people writing about events they have never personally experienced and about characters who don’t align with their identity characteristics. By suing Busboys and Poets, I am honoring my grandfather’s legacy. A legacy that you don’t run away from discrimination—you face it head-on. 

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