I dont blame your son one bit. I'm 60 years old and I'm tired of it all. He's lucky to have you as a parent with a clear understanding of how this T movement is affecting our young generation. Your guidance will be invaluable for him now and in the future.
I think it's a sad commentary that simply declining to participate in something will get you labeled "transphobic" these days. How pathetic that these groups now seem to be adopting the same tactics they profess to abhor.
Sounds like You're doing everything right so far. Best of luck and solidarity in Your family's continued fight against this stupid and dangerous new state religion.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience and point of view. It breaks my heart to see the negative impact gender ideology has had on my lesbian and gay friends. I agree with you 100% but as a heterosexual married woman, I do not feel safe sharing this point of view publicly. I am the mother of an 18 year old son who just graduated from high school and I also share your concerns regarding the impact this ideology is having on the ability of gen z kids to develop healthy romantic relationships. I pray that someday we will return to a place where gender (self representation) isn’t so closely tied to sex (biology). I want to return to a time where there are only two biological sexes and it is ok to be a masculine woman or a feminine man.
Thanks so much for your kind feedback. I’m a beginner at this so am learning.
These are strange times indeed. The trans movement, gender ideology and intersectionality is what I find problematic. I support individuals who have a desire to explore gender and express themselves in a variety of ways to externalize the internal. What is problematic is the angry activism that righteously shames institutions in medicine, education, media and elsewhere to automatically adopt a new ideology that may be disrespectful, culturally insensitive and harmful to people, particularly young people. Also what is hard for me are the caricatures of extreme masculinity and femininity, stereotypes we should have left behind as we evolved into more sophisticated layered humans, able to express a variety of qualities and characteristics. And finally, like you, I feel the take over of others’ spaces and common spaces like high school and Pride events is having unintended, known and not yet known, consequences.
It's past time for the LGB community to separate themselves from the trans activists who are trying to take away the rights of women to fairness in sports and to privacy and safety in their restrooms and locker rooms and even their prisons. They also advocate for the chemical and surgical mutilation of children.
Their actions are evil and the
understandable negative reaction to the harm they are causing is spilling over to innocent people who are just going about their business, marrying and leading their lives.
Bless you, your wife and son for not pandering to the DEI trap. What we see going on in the schools right now is disturbing and one has to wonder what many of these students will 'be' once they get out of that bubble. I'm glad we didn't have children now that I see what has been percolating through the school systems whether it's on this subject, anti-semitism and other issues that we USED to be able to have conversations on without being labelled negatively. We are not robots nor all of the same, so why are we all being forced to think and believe in a certain way? I see a great war of ideologies coming to a head soon...
No one really cares about your choices. No hate or shunning. What people dislike is having it pushed in our faces and being told somehow we are the ones who are different. Being heterosexual is a choice like others and having others portray it somehow as a phobia is what causes anger. You are learning what we already knew. Those with a specific agenda take over and they don’t care about you, only their weird self interests.
I wanted to comment on this statement in the article, "We have enjoyed and excelled at what were once traditionally considered to be male endeavors and accomplishments, including designing and building our custom home, maintaining a large, forested property with livestock, leading a nonprofit organization, writing and publishing a book and several articles, starting and managing a small business, and juggling a life full of work, school, travel, sports, and recreation." I always find myself objecting to these kinds of 'endeavors' being called 'traditionally male' - because women have done these things from time immemorial in cultures all over the world. I don't mean to take the wind out of the sails of these two clearly great and wonderful women, and I agree with them in that I don't care for stereotypes being hallowed as 'truth' whether it comes to gender, race, or 'x' (where 'x' stand for 'whatever.') Buying into stereotypes is a big part of our problem today, despite the fight against settling for stereotypes that began in the sixties (at least). Women have participated in the list of things these two incredible women have done - on their own, yes - and sometimes other women have raised lifestock, etc, in partnership with men, or on their own, eg nuns who have raised livestock. Many men and women have worked together in equal partnerships BEFORE the women's lib movement. In some cultures and situations there has been an intensely hierarchical social structure involving gender, but it has not been universal. And I just want to say that here. Thank you for giving me the opportunity, and thank you for your article because someone needs to say it - some of these trans stereotypes are only caricatures of women and men. Is that really where we want to go?
I agree totally with the writer and have seen much of what she describes myself in farr too many places. What's odd is growing up, I was always the far left radical, supporting the idea that people could be anything they wanted, love anyone or any group they wanted, should be totally color blind and gender blind. Now that apparently makes me a reactionary because I don't think so called anti-racism that says the only way to fight racism is with more racism or that it's ok to perform life altering gender surgery on minors are good ideas. Go figure.
I really appreciate this thoughtful commentary and willingness to raise questions. The point for me isn't whether a person agrees or disagrees, but that it's important to have these types of discussions.
Lisa how do people like you & I find each other in this madness, lol. I guess through forums like this, I feel like i'm lost in the wildness sometimes, like the word has gone mad and social media has sent people down one of two awful rabbit holes with people that have totally abandoned common sense and basic respect for others.
Thank you for reading my piece. It truly is a challenge to find like minded people these days and it creates such loneliness and existential angst. Between people being so easily influenced out of fear of being shamed, othered or just seen as out of touch, to people who are just oblivious and dealing with their own personal challenges, to people who see what's happening but are uncomfortable to voice their concerns, to those who do see and speak out but are so geographically dispersed its hard to connect, one can feel alone in the madness. I often do. But you're right FAIR provides opportunities for those who are concerned about current trends to connect and discuss, and to learn from each other's experiences and perspectives. Thank you for being part of the FAIR community.
First, it sounds like you all have a wonderful family with wonderful family values. I always appreciate when people have to do everything on their own, as that's how my husband and I have had to do things. People are very dismissive these days of all the help many get from their families. Most importantly, I am grateful that you all are listening to and being g understanding of your son. Many in this new movement seem more than willing to call their male children problematic. They are no such thing. The ideology has become religious in fervor and isn't really helping anyone nearly as much as it's hurting many others. I think if parents were honest, there are a majority of them dealing with this exact same thing and feel exactly the same way.
A beautiful family you are! The true meaning of DEI! The way it actually has meaning and sustainability. Bless you all! Your son sounds like an amazing young man. I am sure you are both very proud of him. What a shame this nonsense has kept him from exploring relationships with those he may be attracted to.
I dont blame your son one bit. I'm 60 years old and I'm tired of it all. He's lucky to have you as a parent with a clear understanding of how this T movement is affecting our young generation. Your guidance will be invaluable for him now and in the future.
I think it's a sad commentary that simply declining to participate in something will get you labeled "transphobic" these days. How pathetic that these groups now seem to be adopting the same tactics they profess to abhor.
Maybe it's time to 'normalize' a new word: Heterophobic.
Sounds like You're doing everything right so far. Best of luck and solidarity in Your family's continued fight against this stupid and dangerous new state religion.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience and point of view. It breaks my heart to see the negative impact gender ideology has had on my lesbian and gay friends. I agree with you 100% but as a heterosexual married woman, I do not feel safe sharing this point of view publicly. I am the mother of an 18 year old son who just graduated from high school and I also share your concerns regarding the impact this ideology is having on the ability of gen z kids to develop healthy romantic relationships. I pray that someday we will return to a place where gender (self representation) isn’t so closely tied to sex (biology). I want to return to a time where there are only two biological sexes and it is ok to be a masculine woman or a feminine man.
Thanks so much for your kind feedback. I’m a beginner at this so am learning.
These are strange times indeed. The trans movement, gender ideology and intersectionality is what I find problematic. I support individuals who have a desire to explore gender and express themselves in a variety of ways to externalize the internal. What is problematic is the angry activism that righteously shames institutions in medicine, education, media and elsewhere to automatically adopt a new ideology that may be disrespectful, culturally insensitive and harmful to people, particularly young people. Also what is hard for me are the caricatures of extreme masculinity and femininity, stereotypes we should have left behind as we evolved into more sophisticated layered humans, able to express a variety of qualities and characteristics. And finally, like you, I feel the take over of others’ spaces and common spaces like high school and Pride events is having unintended, known and not yet known, consequences.
It's past time for the LGB community to separate themselves from the trans activists who are trying to take away the rights of women to fairness in sports and to privacy and safety in their restrooms and locker rooms and even their prisons. They also advocate for the chemical and surgical mutilation of children.
Their actions are evil and the
understandable negative reaction to the harm they are causing is spilling over to innocent people who are just going about their business, marrying and leading their lives.
Bless you, your wife and son for not pandering to the DEI trap. What we see going on in the schools right now is disturbing and one has to wonder what many of these students will 'be' once they get out of that bubble. I'm glad we didn't have children now that I see what has been percolating through the school systems whether it's on this subject, anti-semitism and other issues that we USED to be able to have conversations on without being labelled negatively. We are not robots nor all of the same, so why are we all being forced to think and believe in a certain way? I see a great war of ideologies coming to a head soon...
No one really cares about your choices. No hate or shunning. What people dislike is having it pushed in our faces and being told somehow we are the ones who are different. Being heterosexual is a choice like others and having others portray it somehow as a phobia is what causes anger. You are learning what we already knew. Those with a specific agenda take over and they don’t care about you, only their weird self interests.
I wanted to comment on this statement in the article, "We have enjoyed and excelled at what were once traditionally considered to be male endeavors and accomplishments, including designing and building our custom home, maintaining a large, forested property with livestock, leading a nonprofit organization, writing and publishing a book and several articles, starting and managing a small business, and juggling a life full of work, school, travel, sports, and recreation." I always find myself objecting to these kinds of 'endeavors' being called 'traditionally male' - because women have done these things from time immemorial in cultures all over the world. I don't mean to take the wind out of the sails of these two clearly great and wonderful women, and I agree with them in that I don't care for stereotypes being hallowed as 'truth' whether it comes to gender, race, or 'x' (where 'x' stand for 'whatever.') Buying into stereotypes is a big part of our problem today, despite the fight against settling for stereotypes that began in the sixties (at least). Women have participated in the list of things these two incredible women have done - on their own, yes - and sometimes other women have raised lifestock, etc, in partnership with men, or on their own, eg nuns who have raised livestock. Many men and women have worked together in equal partnerships BEFORE the women's lib movement. In some cultures and situations there has been an intensely hierarchical social structure involving gender, but it has not been universal. And I just want to say that here. Thank you for giving me the opportunity, and thank you for your article because someone needs to say it - some of these trans stereotypes are only caricatures of women and men. Is that really where we want to go?
I agree totally with the writer and have seen much of what she describes myself in farr too many places. What's odd is growing up, I was always the far left radical, supporting the idea that people could be anything they wanted, love anyone or any group they wanted, should be totally color blind and gender blind. Now that apparently makes me a reactionary because I don't think so called anti-racism that says the only way to fight racism is with more racism or that it's ok to perform life altering gender surgery on minors are good ideas. Go figure.
Gen X feminist mother here! Love that, I feel seen! 🥰
I really appreciate this thoughtful commentary and willingness to raise questions. The point for me isn't whether a person agrees or disagrees, but that it's important to have these types of discussions.
Lisa how do people like you & I find each other in this madness, lol. I guess through forums like this, I feel like i'm lost in the wildness sometimes, like the word has gone mad and social media has sent people down one of two awful rabbit holes with people that have totally abandoned common sense and basic respect for others.
Thank you for reading my piece. It truly is a challenge to find like minded people these days and it creates such loneliness and existential angst. Between people being so easily influenced out of fear of being shamed, othered or just seen as out of touch, to people who are just oblivious and dealing with their own personal challenges, to people who see what's happening but are uncomfortable to voice their concerns, to those who do see and speak out but are so geographically dispersed its hard to connect, one can feel alone in the madness. I often do. But you're right FAIR provides opportunities for those who are concerned about current trends to connect and discuss, and to learn from each other's experiences and perspectives. Thank you for being part of the FAIR community.
MUCH appreciate you and your taking the time to respond. You wrote with obvious feeling and exceptionally well. I hope others heard it :)
Great post! Thank you so much for having the courage to say these things out loud! We need more thoughtful, respectful discussion like you are doing.
First, it sounds like you all have a wonderful family with wonderful family values. I always appreciate when people have to do everything on their own, as that's how my husband and I have had to do things. People are very dismissive these days of all the help many get from their families. Most importantly, I am grateful that you all are listening to and being g understanding of your son. Many in this new movement seem more than willing to call their male children problematic. They are no such thing. The ideology has become religious in fervor and isn't really helping anyone nearly as much as it's hurting many others. I think if parents were honest, there are a majority of them dealing with this exact same thing and feel exactly the same way.
Great post. Thank you.
A beautiful family you are! The true meaning of DEI! The way it actually has meaning and sustainability. Bless you all! Your son sounds like an amazing young man. I am sure you are both very proud of him. What a shame this nonsense has kept him from exploring relationships with those he may be attracted to.