"The real issue is our susceptibility to the insatiable human need to belong, and the only real way to address this is to recognize that each of us needs to develop a strong sense of self—a reindividuation—in order to be fully realized in our personhood and avoid the hive mentality."
I couldn't agree more. People who have a strong sense of belonging as part of a family or community clubs, religious, or other organizations have less need to join political or other more distant, abstract groups to satisfy belonging needs. Much of the de-individuation we see today comes, I believe, as a result of breakdown of family and community structures. Isolated in apartments/houses and experiencing social interactions primarily on-line result in people, especially teens and young adults, to subsume their identity within larger "movements." Additional fuel for the de-individuation comes from a diminished sense of purposefulness for one's life. If not committed to a provider or caring role in the raising of children, people look for other sources to give them purpose, and socio-political movements can fill that void (at least for a while).
Agreed. I was having a conversation with my sister over the holidays about the decline of communities, and how the ones we’ve replaced them with are ill suited. The piece she would have written would have focused on that aspect, I didn’t feel I could write that authentically so I wrote this piece instead. But the themes of the family, extended family and community decline certainly were in my thoughts while writing this one.
Great read. I called it, "collective stupidity," when my boys did stupid things when with friends but would not likely do on their own. But when our culture's highest goal is to get likes/retweets instead of aiming higher (heaven, anyone?), the quest to fit in supercedes self discipline.
Agreed, the crowd has an alluring quality. The ability to resist it when necessary requires an individual strength of character. Sounds like you were working to foster that in your boys, I hope more parents do the same. Cheers
Rienard, enjoyed the piece more you know as this is a topic I have been concerned about for a decade plus ( many family and friends sick of my ranting about the dangers of group pressure to conform). We have arrived at the point in time I feared. I am.not a doctor or scientist but have speculated that there is something in our human wiring that causes the conformity to occur. I discerned that partially from my study of history and partly I suppose through gut feel or intuition ( furthered by my observation of people in various settings). I also recently watched a documentary on Netflix where Germans were interviewed 30 + years after the end of WW2 who served in SS or Hitler youth groups. Very much relevant to this topic in my opinion although I realize any analogy to anything related to the Holocaust is stepping into a minefield. The point of course is that Germany in the 1930s was perhaps the worst case example of where these pressures have the potential to lead. Thanks again for an outstanding read.
Great article, and a good message to start the day with. It seems today the Socratic notion of "knowing thyself" has been completed consumed by tribalism. But as far as getting rid of social media, I realize that probably won't happen, but I'd argue that if social media magically disappeared tomorrow, our world would be a better place.
After choosing to get my socializing from my close family, friends, and community members and removing myself from social media, my world has become brighter. It's the one benefit that having love for oneself and preferring individualism has provided me.
It is very important for all who participate on social media to have a strong sense of self. And you are correct in pointing to hive mentality and the destruction that can ensue from overuse. At the same time, people who show up in a particular hive have already acknowledged some part of self because they most likely identify with the particular objectives or worldview of the hive they frequent. So in addition to having a strong sense of self, in order to be able to avoid being stuck in a particular hive and suffer the consequences, people must also posses a strong sense of wanting to understand the other hive, and be open to other points of view. These different points of view can either validate their position (see I’m right) or moderate their position (hmm, that’s a good point to consider). For it is from the process of challenging self and learning from others that makes self even more stable as the core principals of self become more vivid and well defined. It allows self to then withstand all of the attacks that come from participating in social media. It even allows self to choose to avoid certain topics when doing so lines up with self’s core principals.
Very insightful. It made me reflect on my personal experiences in (not) fitting in with most groups - perhaps my deindividuation circuits are faulty. Thanks to RKL, it is wonderful to read thoughtful essays that aren't written in gawdawful Academese for & by ivory tower elites. He uses some specialized terms but focuses on communicating ideas rather than using word-play to puff himself up.
Agreed. The best way to ensure you’re not drowned out by the Siren call of the crowd, is to be able to recognize your own voice. Paying attention to your subjective experience helps with that.
This is easily the best analysis I’ve read of what is going on right now and even how to fix it. You have put together in this wonderful essay many pieces that have been swimming around in my brain. Thank you! Shared “issues” have become more important to personal identity than the slow progression of individuality found through reading, meditating, and unique interests that coalesce into that brilliant and wholly unique being we call self.
Thanks for taking the time, I’ve been chewing on these thoughts for some time trying to find the best way to convey them. I’m glad you found the piece worthwhile.
Thanks, I wanted that last turn to leave the reader thinking. You really do give up your moral agency when you dissolve into the crowd, I hope that would give pause to those prone to it.
It should penetrate an open mind, but critical thinking isn't at a premium at the moment.
Steve Jobs, of all people, gave my favorite commencement speech, because of this:
'Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.'
"The real issue is our susceptibility to the insatiable human need to belong, and the only real way to address this is to recognize that each of us needs to develop a strong sense of self—a reindividuation—in order to be fully realized in our personhood and avoid the hive mentality."
I couldn't agree more. People who have a strong sense of belonging as part of a family or community clubs, religious, or other organizations have less need to join political or other more distant, abstract groups to satisfy belonging needs. Much of the de-individuation we see today comes, I believe, as a result of breakdown of family and community structures. Isolated in apartments/houses and experiencing social interactions primarily on-line result in people, especially teens and young adults, to subsume their identity within larger "movements." Additional fuel for the de-individuation comes from a diminished sense of purposefulness for one's life. If not committed to a provider or caring role in the raising of children, people look for other sources to give them purpose, and socio-political movements can fill that void (at least for a while).
Agreed. I was having a conversation with my sister over the holidays about the decline of communities, and how the ones we’ve replaced them with are ill suited. The piece she would have written would have focused on that aspect, I didn’t feel I could write that authentically so I wrote this piece instead. But the themes of the family, extended family and community decline certainly were in my thoughts while writing this one.
Great read. I called it, "collective stupidity," when my boys did stupid things when with friends but would not likely do on their own. But when our culture's highest goal is to get likes/retweets instead of aiming higher (heaven, anyone?), the quest to fit in supercedes self discipline.
Agreed, the crowd has an alluring quality. The ability to resist it when necessary requires an individual strength of character. Sounds like you were working to foster that in your boys, I hope more parents do the same. Cheers
Rienard, enjoyed the piece more you know as this is a topic I have been concerned about for a decade plus ( many family and friends sick of my ranting about the dangers of group pressure to conform). We have arrived at the point in time I feared. I am.not a doctor or scientist but have speculated that there is something in our human wiring that causes the conformity to occur. I discerned that partially from my study of history and partly I suppose through gut feel or intuition ( furthered by my observation of people in various settings). I also recently watched a documentary on Netflix where Germans were interviewed 30 + years after the end of WW2 who served in SS or Hitler youth groups. Very much relevant to this topic in my opinion although I realize any analogy to anything related to the Holocaust is stepping into a minefield. The point of course is that Germany in the 1930s was perhaps the worst case example of where these pressures have the potential to lead. Thanks again for an outstanding read.
Agreed, and thank you for taking the time
Great article, and a good message to start the day with. It seems today the Socratic notion of "knowing thyself" has been completed consumed by tribalism. But as far as getting rid of social media, I realize that probably won't happen, but I'd argue that if social media magically disappeared tomorrow, our world would be a better place.
After choosing to get my socializing from my close family, friends, and community members and removing myself from social media, my world has become brighter. It's the one benefit that having love for oneself and preferring individualism has provided me.
It is very important for all who participate on social media to have a strong sense of self. And you are correct in pointing to hive mentality and the destruction that can ensue from overuse. At the same time, people who show up in a particular hive have already acknowledged some part of self because they most likely identify with the particular objectives or worldview of the hive they frequent. So in addition to having a strong sense of self, in order to be able to avoid being stuck in a particular hive and suffer the consequences, people must also posses a strong sense of wanting to understand the other hive, and be open to other points of view. These different points of view can either validate their position (see I’m right) or moderate their position (hmm, that’s a good point to consider). For it is from the process of challenging self and learning from others that makes self even more stable as the core principals of self become more vivid and well defined. It allows self to then withstand all of the attacks that come from participating in social media. It even allows self to choose to avoid certain topics when doing so lines up with self’s core principals.
Very insightful. It made me reflect on my personal experiences in (not) fitting in with most groups - perhaps my deindividuation circuits are faulty. Thanks to RKL, it is wonderful to read thoughtful essays that aren't written in gawdawful Academese for & by ivory tower elites. He uses some specialized terms but focuses on communicating ideas rather than using word-play to puff himself up.
Thanks, again!
Yes. A regular practice of meditation is one important ingredient in keeping the self strong and resilient.
Agreed. The best way to ensure you’re not drowned out by the Siren call of the crowd, is to be able to recognize your own voice. Paying attention to your subjective experience helps with that.
This is easily the best analysis I’ve read of what is going on right now and even how to fix it. You have put together in this wonderful essay many pieces that have been swimming around in my brain. Thank you! Shared “issues” have become more important to personal identity than the slow progression of individuality found through reading, meditating, and unique interests that coalesce into that brilliant and wholly unique being we call self.
Thanks for taking the time, I’ve been chewing on these thoughts for some time trying to find the best way to convey them. I’m glad you found the piece worthwhile.
Really insightful - especially the final sentence.
Thanks, I wanted that last turn to leave the reader thinking. You really do give up your moral agency when you dissolve into the crowd, I hope that would give pause to those prone to it.
It should penetrate an open mind, but critical thinking isn't at a premium at the moment.
Steve Jobs, of all people, gave my favorite commencement speech, because of this:
'Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.'
It is ironic, even a travesty, that Jobs' widow bought the Atlantic, whose staff would find the above words "unsafe," a real horror.
Fantastic! Our journey in Life is finding harmony between “I” and “We”.
Absolutely, while never losing sight of either.