Lightwing, thanks for sharing your philosophy with me. Like you I'm a lifelong feminist, and I'm beyond disappointed in the ACLU, as well as Planned Parenthood. Where we may differ is that I don’t blame the right more than the left. Everybody is guilty, that’s my take. But it doesn’t matter. I love hearing your story of recovery and self…
Lightwing, thanks for sharing your philosophy with me. Like you I'm a lifelong feminist, and I'm beyond disappointed in the ACLU, as well as Planned Parenthood. Where we may differ is that I don’t blame the right more than the left. Everybody is guilty, that’s my take. But it doesn’t matter. I love hearing your story of recovery and self-preservation, and I appreciate how long and hard that process can be.
I saw this mess coming in the mid-1970s. I was there the first time a man came to our lesbian social group in Buffalo, demanding to be admitted because, obviously, he was a lesbian. This was a new one on us. Now I know he was a garden-variety autogynephile. He'd been married to a woman and was coming out as trans in mid-life. Of maybe 30 women, there was only one other besides myself who voted against him. I never found out who she was. I did feel sorry for him because of the suffering his coming out had caused his family, and I admired his courage in going public. His neighbors were not impressed and someome had burned a cross on his lawn. Then his adult son killed himself...who knows what that was about?
So the group pitied him, because homophobia was rampant and we'd all been victims. They wanted to be kind. Besides, how many of them could there be, anyway? was the mantra (and it was a mantra...you'll see). Don’t ask me how, but I knew it wouldn't end well for us. He wasn't a woman, wasn't a lesbian, wasn't a “sister,” and was taking advantage of women in order to locate a new place to put his penis because his wife had left him. That much seemed obvious.
Recently, my sister expressed skepticism about men in women's prisons being a problem. She too wanted to be kind, because she believes that trans people need special protection and besides, “how many of them could there be, anyway?” I gave her some food for thought: "What would be an acceptable number of rapes in a women’s jail? One a month? a week? a day? At what point would we say, okay, that’s enough raping for awhile?" That shut her up. What the F is wrong with us women?
I’m not a hopeful person, but I appreciate your hopeful talk. I’m sure you’re right…everything changes, a reckoning will come, and there will be a massive cohort of mutilated adults, most of them gay and lesbian (if that's still allowed)…who are furious and want to know why the adults didn’t do their job.
Sorry you had to field that. Sounds like you had a front row seat to the precursor to this craziness. And honestly, I'm foe to anyone who dehumanizes - right or left. If we can't treat each other fairly and decently, there's no point. Self-righteousness is an evil drug. Ruins people. Makes them ruin others. Very sad.
Funny - I grew up 60 miles south of Buffalo. Whole different country down there. Not my vibe. Had to leave. Too much of a free spirit to conform. I live in Cali now and I have a wonderful husband. There is still love and heart left in the world. Don't give up.
There are many who see clearly, many who crave balance. The answer is to put aside sanctimony, practice some tolerance and find common ground - a human coalition. We can do it. We have to be brave and speak out. More and more are doing so all the time. Critical mass will happen.
Lightwing, thanks for sharing your philosophy with me. Like you I'm a lifelong feminist, and I'm beyond disappointed in the ACLU, as well as Planned Parenthood. Where we may differ is that I don’t blame the right more than the left. Everybody is guilty, that’s my take. But it doesn’t matter. I love hearing your story of recovery and self-preservation, and I appreciate how long and hard that process can be.
I saw this mess coming in the mid-1970s. I was there the first time a man came to our lesbian social group in Buffalo, demanding to be admitted because, obviously, he was a lesbian. This was a new one on us. Now I know he was a garden-variety autogynephile. He'd been married to a woman and was coming out as trans in mid-life. Of maybe 30 women, there was only one other besides myself who voted against him. I never found out who she was. I did feel sorry for him because of the suffering his coming out had caused his family, and I admired his courage in going public. His neighbors were not impressed and someome had burned a cross on his lawn. Then his adult son killed himself...who knows what that was about?
So the group pitied him, because homophobia was rampant and we'd all been victims. They wanted to be kind. Besides, how many of them could there be, anyway? was the mantra (and it was a mantra...you'll see). Don’t ask me how, but I knew it wouldn't end well for us. He wasn't a woman, wasn't a lesbian, wasn't a “sister,” and was taking advantage of women in order to locate a new place to put his penis because his wife had left him. That much seemed obvious.
Recently, my sister expressed skepticism about men in women's prisons being a problem. She too wanted to be kind, because she believes that trans people need special protection and besides, “how many of them could there be, anyway?” I gave her some food for thought: "What would be an acceptable number of rapes in a women’s jail? One a month? a week? a day? At what point would we say, okay, that’s enough raping for awhile?" That shut her up. What the F is wrong with us women?
I’m not a hopeful person, but I appreciate your hopeful talk. I’m sure you’re right…everything changes, a reckoning will come, and there will be a massive cohort of mutilated adults, most of them gay and lesbian (if that's still allowed)…who are furious and want to know why the adults didn’t do their job.
Sorry you had to field that. Sounds like you had a front row seat to the precursor to this craziness. And honestly, I'm foe to anyone who dehumanizes - right or left. If we can't treat each other fairly and decently, there's no point. Self-righteousness is an evil drug. Ruins people. Makes them ruin others. Very sad.
Funny - I grew up 60 miles south of Buffalo. Whole different country down there. Not my vibe. Had to leave. Too much of a free spirit to conform. I live in Cali now and I have a wonderful husband. There is still love and heart left in the world. Don't give up.
There are many who see clearly, many who crave balance. The answer is to put aside sanctimony, practice some tolerance and find common ground - a human coalition. We can do it. We have to be brave and speak out. More and more are doing so all the time. Critical mass will happen.
Thanks for sharing and hang in there! 🌼