Welcome to FAIR, Hana! I actually disagree that the world is split up into two tribes, assholes and non-assholes. I think that leads us right to where we are, with everyone assuming they're the "good guys" and anyone who disagrees must be the "bad guys." The truth is, sometimes *we're* the assholes, and the worst part is that we often don't know it.
When things are difficult, I try to remind myself of a few quotes that always help me course correct:
"Let no man pull you so low as to hate him."
— Martin Luther King, Jr.
“I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain.”
— James Baldwin
"I intend to destroy segregation by positive and embracing methods. When my brothers try to draw a circle to exclude me, I shall draw a larger circle to include them."
— Pauli Murray
These sentiments, I think, encapsulate FAIR's mission and method perfectly. It is very, very difficult for us to live up to them, but it is imperative that we do. The only way forward is to see one another as fellow human beings—as the products of our experiences, environments, educations, upbringings, parents, peers, and psychology—and as fellow travelers in this crazy thing we're trying to do called living.
As you mentioned, it doesn't mean being morally relativistic. It doesn't mean not standing up for our beliefs, or standing against things we believe are wrong. It means engaging in a different way, because we recognize that very few people are consciously attempting to make the world a worse place to live. Most people, most of the time, are doing what *they* believe is good, right, and just—or at least justifiable, given their goals. And their goals can always be explained, based on their perspective, in a way that makes them out to be doing the right thing (even if they're wrong).
Never give up, and never forget that we're all in this together. That recognition is our greatest strength, and the greatest source for compassion and optimism.
That’s a beautiful comment Angel. It expresses the core Enlightenment aspiration of seeing our common humanity and rising above all the tribalisms that divide us.
“everyone assuming they're the "good guys" and anyone who disagrees must be the "bad guys." The truth is, sometimes *we're* the assholes, and the worst part is that we often don't know it.”
That's *so* will stated. I couldn't agree more, and it's an eternal truth that I try to keep always in mind.
Viktor Frankl, a psychologist who survived the Holocaust, said "There are two races of men in this world, but only these two ... the "race" of descent man and the "race" of indecent man. Both are found everywhere; they penetrate all groups of society. No group consists of entire decent or indecent people." Alexander Solzhenitsyn said that "The line separating good and evil passes not through states, nor between classes, nor between political parties - but right through every human heart."
Those tribalists, authoritarians, political manipulators, and useful idiots who would chant slogans and march for the destruction of any people would do well to remember both of these quotes.
Beautiful piece. I am so grateful you are finding a place to be yourself, to be included, and to feel safe. I went through much of what you have gone through but for entirely different reasons. I called it my "time to grow up and out" time. 😆
One of my students blurted out a question about "whose side" am I on?
I paused a bit and then recounted something that happened when I was working in France. I had a group of Anglophone friends. One night a guy from New Zealand boldly said that back home when they read & watched things that the US government did they thought that America is a nation of baby-eating monsters... but every American he'd ever met has been kind and compassionate - not at all like the American government. He asked the Americans in the group to help him with this cognitive dissonance.
The other American in our group exchanged glances with me as we said, "Yup. We don't like our government doing those things either - but our government doesn't listen to us, they tell us what we should think."
I hate governments that harm civilians whether intentionally or through callous disregard; I have deep sympathy for the civilians on all sides of conflicts (and in the Middle East there are more than 2 sides). But I have special sympathy for people living under regimes that use them like pawns to garner more power.
I agree with the line between good in evil in each of us--we are all on the wrong side of that line sometimes, I think, but one hopes as many people as possible can find that line and move to the side of good. (Some won't want to, but I think many people do want to do the right thing.)
Welcome to FAIR, Hana! I actually disagree that the world is split up into two tribes, assholes and non-assholes. I think that leads us right to where we are, with everyone assuming they're the "good guys" and anyone who disagrees must be the "bad guys." The truth is, sometimes *we're* the assholes, and the worst part is that we often don't know it.
When things are difficult, I try to remind myself of a few quotes that always help me course correct:
"Let no man pull you so low as to hate him."
— Martin Luther King, Jr.
“I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain.”
— James Baldwin
"I intend to destroy segregation by positive and embracing methods. When my brothers try to draw a circle to exclude me, I shall draw a larger circle to include them."
— Pauli Murray
These sentiments, I think, encapsulate FAIR's mission and method perfectly. It is very, very difficult for us to live up to them, but it is imperative that we do. The only way forward is to see one another as fellow human beings—as the products of our experiences, environments, educations, upbringings, parents, peers, and psychology—and as fellow travelers in this crazy thing we're trying to do called living.
As you mentioned, it doesn't mean being morally relativistic. It doesn't mean not standing up for our beliefs, or standing against things we believe are wrong. It means engaging in a different way, because we recognize that very few people are consciously attempting to make the world a worse place to live. Most people, most of the time, are doing what *they* believe is good, right, and just—or at least justifiable, given their goals. And their goals can always be explained, based on their perspective, in a way that makes them out to be doing the right thing (even if they're wrong).
Never give up, and never forget that we're all in this together. That recognition is our greatest strength, and the greatest source for compassion and optimism.
Looking forward to seeing what you do next!
Thanks for articulating what I think. I will add this - I know that it is a sophomoric metaphor but I still like it:
Inside of everyone there are two dogs fighting: one is good and the other is evil. The one that ultimately wins is the one you feed most!
That’s a beautiful comment Angel. It expresses the core Enlightenment aspiration of seeing our common humanity and rising above all the tribalisms that divide us.
“everyone assuming they're the "good guys" and anyone who disagrees must be the "bad guys." The truth is, sometimes *we're* the assholes, and the worst part is that we often don't know it.”
That's *so* will stated. I couldn't agree more, and it's an eternal truth that I try to keep always in mind.
Welcome to star-manning, Ron!
www.starmanning.com
Viktor Frankl, a psychologist who survived the Holocaust, said "There are two races of men in this world, but only these two ... the "race" of descent man and the "race" of indecent man. Both are found everywhere; they penetrate all groups of society. No group consists of entire decent or indecent people." Alexander Solzhenitsyn said that "The line separating good and evil passes not through states, nor between classes, nor between political parties - but right through every human heart."
Those tribalists, authoritarians, political manipulators, and useful idiots who would chant slogans and march for the destruction of any people would do well to remember both of these quotes.
Beautiful piece. I am so grateful you are finding a place to be yourself, to be included, and to feel safe. I went through much of what you have gone through but for entirely different reasons. I called it my "time to grow up and out" time. 😆
One of my students blurted out a question about "whose side" am I on?
I paused a bit and then recounted something that happened when I was working in France. I had a group of Anglophone friends. One night a guy from New Zealand boldly said that back home when they read & watched things that the US government did they thought that America is a nation of baby-eating monsters... but every American he'd ever met has been kind and compassionate - not at all like the American government. He asked the Americans in the group to help him with this cognitive dissonance.
The other American in our group exchanged glances with me as we said, "Yup. We don't like our government doing those things either - but our government doesn't listen to us, they tell us what we should think."
I hate governments that harm civilians whether intentionally or through callous disregard; I have deep sympathy for the civilians on all sides of conflicts (and in the Middle East there are more than 2 sides). But I have special sympathy for people living under regimes that use them like pawns to garner more power.
Thank you so much and welcome--
I agree with the line between good in evil in each of us--we are all on the wrong side of that line sometimes, I think, but one hopes as many people as possible can find that line and move to the side of good. (Some won't want to, but I think many people do want to do the right thing.)
Thank you again.